And he takes my breath away

Today one of the IT guys I usually only communicate by email came down and I forgot how handsome he is in person. Sigh. Too bad he hides away on the 2nd floor…

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I should sleep but I ain’t

I bought an assload of DVDs recently and tonight I got the remastered complete series of Blackadder. Which is pretty awesome. Like capital ‘A’ AWESOME.

I realize that the genre I always get drawn back to is comedy and it is that group of British comics from Blackadder that I continually go to and rewatch most often. And I was thinking, this is how I first knew of Stephen Fry (best ever) and Hugh Laurie (best ever)… and where I realized that Rowan Atkinson is something of a comic genius.

Best thing about buying it in DVD is having the opportunity to listen to them talk about their art. British entertainers can talk really well — cerebral — about anything, everything, but especially about writing and acting. So, boy, can those Brits talk! And they use more words in English involving more than 3 syllables than anyone else!

Not to be completely flippant but in some ways, the effort that went into reworking the script (re: how the actors would sit for hours going over the writing) reminded me of the effort my boss goes into reading and editing my reports. She really is so focused. Sigh. Sometimes I feel like I would never quite get to her level. But one must still try.

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Sick liao

I cannot believe I’m falling sick now. This sucks!

I hope it passes if I self-medicate.

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Mood Diary

I’m thinking about keeping a mood diary. I wonder if Kino has any. Hmm. Okay thank goodness for the Internet, there are plenty of resources out there.

I kept thinking of getting a drink the entire evening. I don’t even drink much. Why do I get this craving?

I wish there was something like monthlyinfo.com for mood tracking. Ah well, keeping a physical diary may be better anyway. Sometimes not everything should be on the internet.

I was very sad that they don’t have the criss-cross fries at Wendy’s today. Sigh… I couldn’t finish what I ordered again. Remind me to get smaller portions.

Should sleep.

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Percy Jackson is a lousy film

image

I heard a lot of bullshit this morning. Amazing.

I feel like I can’t remember a time I felt so miserable. I hate going home so I’ve been putting it off as much as possible every week – which results in me only getting back with the last train, spending ridiculous amounts to entertain myself. I saw this ad today and I stood at the bus stop staring at it so long. In fact I only got home a little earlier just now.

Alexander McQueen committed suicide today.

When I was much younger, I used to get the feeling sometimes that my family members were actually aliens in disguise but I couldn’t say anything about it because they won’t be happy to be revealed.

I keep thinking back to how it was in secondary school because it feels like I just don’t belong and would never belong anywhere. It slipped when I was telling my colleague about how my reading habit took hold because I didn’t have any friends back then – at least not the kind with whom I hung out with.

At least now it is somewhat better but it’s just too much effort to find someone every night and I guess I don’t feel like facing the inevitable rejections. So it’s just time alone for the most part.

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It only gets worse

That puke-nausea feeling is back again.

I wish I was competent at something.

I keep failing at life. Maybe I should just kill myself.

I can’t stand the thought of staying in a room where I see the evidence of someone else having touched my things.

I’m just so angry over these little things all the time.

I’m so angry about being spurned yet again, feeling like I can’t live up to my job, coming home and finding that nothing is as it were.

I hate it. And I’m miserable being me. And I don’t even have the solace of having someone who cares like a boyfriend could. It sucks to only have my blog to complain to.

I could cry.

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NOT AGAIN

I hate my parents TOUCHING MY STUFF. This has got to stop. I should have moved out ages ago.

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Last day of the course

OMG, I hate that I can’t control the damn boat. I was the last one again >_<

For some reason, I felt exhausted pretty early on. Thank goodness Edwin didn't push us... the people who retook the test agreed that it's usually more xiong.

Still can't get my roll right.

Bruises bruises everywhere.

I didn't eat that much today but felt like I was so full to the point when I felt like puking. What's wrong with me???? I could practically taste the bile. >_<

It suddenly occurred to me that my health may not be as invincible as I thought. Some of the things I often suffer from are: pins and needles, cramps and usually am the first one in the room to feel chilly. Now this nauseous feeling. Blah.

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Imaginarium

Watched it today with Izzie. It was weird in that Terry Gillian way, but entertaining nonetheless. “What would I do without you, Percy?” In unison: “Get a midget.”

Hahah, this must be the most I’ve hung out with people on a weekday in awhile. First it was Jon with his first non-vegetarian meal (plus my Avatar 3D, oh I can understand why it feels pretty awesome to watch it — the animation was quite breathtaking). Then just running again with the colleagues… Now with Izzie. Then more on Saturday with Huey, Jon & XZ. And Sunday with my 3 star course mates.

Other than my treacherous dreams, I feel quite fine. I guess the best salve is to reach out, hang out and feel the easy joy of good company.

You know, I would love to go on an overseas kayaking trip. But I have a feeling that if I did that on my own, it’ll be all about learning it the hard way. Maybe I should just do my 4 star first (um, after I pass the 3 star assessment, hahah).

I bought a pink cheongsam. I haven’t had one since I was like 8. It’s not something I would have bought except that the festivities conspired against me. So against my better judgment, I got one that didn’t look too bad (seriously, it’s hard to get a good cheongsam for my broad shoulders — the cut isn’t exactly right for my frame). So I’ll be doing the cheesy thing of wearing something so Chinese-y for the lunar new year. Hahah….

I couldn’t finish my plate at Arab Street today. Sad. I really can’t eat as much as I used to…

I hope I’ll get somewhere with my roll this weekend. Or it’s going to take a more than a few practice sessions to get it right. Ah well… at least my course mates are all keen to go take the assessment! =) I guess repeat students are more motivated to make it their money’s worth and go to assessment soon.

I was re-reading Joe Glickman’s kayaking book and I kinda feel like I can understand how he quoted Frank Floyd Wright “I believe in God, only I spell it Nature.” And Singapore doesn’t even have much wilderness yet the draw remains. I guess it fits in very well with my hermit idealism. Hahah.

Terry Gillian is so literal with his metaphors. Hahah. It can feel heavy-handed though.

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Treachery

If dreams are the wishes your heart makes, I wish it’d shut up and get with the program.

Remember: The realm of the unconscious is outside one’s control.

And yet it was one dream too beguiling to awaken from.

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