Oh man, it’s been such a long time since I’ve presented anything… I was half-dreaming about it on the bus back home. It’s nuts…
I tend to talk too fast when I present but once I’ve got the points in my mind, it comes out and goes on (very different from my usual reticent self). Used to be real good when I was young at talking in front of an audience but as I got older, it was more nerve-wrecking than fun anymore.
Talking not my forte anymore. It hasn’t been for years.
Why is it I always tend to talk too fast when presenting? It’s because if I slow down, it would give me time to think and therefore pause and therefore lose momentum. So speak continuously, don’t lose the momentum and everything will flow.
On the other hand, it’s hard to be loquacious while socializing, except when I’m with Huey, XZ, Jon and/or Gerald. They are okay to talk to without worrying about hurting someone’s feelings or saying the wrong thing or saying silly things or being ignored or otherwise lose their attention.
Come to think of it, most kinds of conversation end up having to make sure it doesn’t offend anyone or being (politically) correct or otherwise boring, serious and unsatisfying. Or being judged or reading too much into it. What gives, man? Maybe that’s why some people say that their first impression of me is that I’m reserved.
But it’s like this: explore safe topics, followed by testing to see what would set you off, thereafter avoiding such areas to save all kinds of trouble. (Only exemption is when it’s one of those discussions when you let loose in an argument (the debating type). Ah, shiok, I love to argue, in actuality.)
I’m trying to decide if it’s sad that I don’t bother to push people’s buttons to avoid needless arguments. Hmm… But then again, I’m not really interested in most people’s sore points anymore. And you mellow out with age!
Whatever it is, I’m thinking whether it’s much pain not to be yourself. My friend who went the opposite way said that it’s better to say what you think instead of hiding because in the end you’d be unhappy. But I can’t say I’m unhappy because I don’t get into pointless arguments anymore and seem nice and friendly. AHHAAH… Well, it’s still important to defend the core truths about yourself but other than that, there’s no need to care.
I don’t really feel nice and friendly because I often have thoughts about people whom I rather dislike which are quite at odds with what I say or how I act. Isn’t it terrible? But I also like to indulge in fantasies of shutting their trap up or imagining all the things I’d rather do than sit there listening to them rant. Or make mocking comments in my head or roll my eyes when they can’t see. AHAHA, I really am awful. Maybe my friend is right, it is a pain not to say what you want.
I don’t know what I’m talking about anymore. How do you defeat a more dominant personality than your own? Especially if they’re the type who overrules what you say or doesn’t play give and take, conversationally. You either stop talking to them or start overruling them yourself which becomes more and more frustrating. The problem, the problem, the problem is that any successful conversation depend on each party being able to throw the ball into each others’ court and not hog it or refuse to take it. I hate it hate it hate it when some people just don’t play with me and so they’re better written off as: TOO MUCH TROUBLE.
Which reminds me of KK. Who wields anti-social as a weapon. Ahaha. Maybe I should have kicked him a few times instead of always trying to talk to him.
And it also reminds me of why I don’t want to engage in a certain conversation this week. More pain in the neck when I could be doing something else.
So this is me when talking; I match the intensity of others’. It’s not because I’m trying some social engineering trick but it’s just something I am, that I harmonize and match other people. Which is why sometimes I am grateful for having different groups of friends for which I can mirror varying intensities.
I’m going to sleep because I’ve written all my nonsense out. I think I’m more tired than nervous now. Ahaha.
Related posts:
- Love and Pain
- Summary
- *Complains*
- Carpe Diem
- Shy
I’m presenting!
Oh man, it’s been such a long time since I’ve presented anything… I was half-dreaming about it on the bus back home. It’s nuts…
I tend to talk too fast when I present but once I’ve got the points in my mind, it comes out and goes on (very different from my usual reticent self). Used to be real good when I was young at talking in front of an audience but as I got older, it was more nerve-wrecking than fun anymore.
Talking not my forte anymore. It hasn’t been for years.
Why is it I always tend to talk too fast when presenting? It’s because if I slow down, it would give me time to think and therefore pause and therefore lose momentum. So speak continuously, don’t lose the momentum and everything will flow.
On the other hand, it’s hard to be loquacious while socializing, except when I’m with Huey, XZ, Jon and/or Gerald. They are okay to talk to without worrying about hurting someone’s feelings or saying the wrong thing or saying silly things or being ignored or otherwise lose their attention.
Come to think of it, most kinds of conversation end up having to make sure it doesn’t offend anyone or being (politically) correct or otherwise boring, serious and unsatisfying. Or being judged or reading too much into it. What gives, man? Maybe that’s why some people say that their first impression of me is that I’m reserved.
But it’s like this: explore safe topics, followed by testing to see what would set you off, thereafter avoiding such areas to save all kinds of trouble. (Only exemption is when it’s one of those discussions when you let loose in an argument (the debating type). Ah, shiok, I love to argue, in actuality.)
I’m trying to decide if it’s sad that I don’t bother to push people’s buttons to avoid needless arguments. Hmm… But then again, I’m not really interested in most people’s sore points anymore. And you mellow out with age!
Whatever it is, I’m thinking whether it’s much pain not to be yourself. My friend who went the opposite way said that it’s better to say what you think instead of hiding because in the end you’d be unhappy. But I can’t say I’m unhappy because I don’t get into pointless arguments anymore and seem nice and friendly. AHHAAH… Well, it’s still important to defend the core truths about yourself but other than that, there’s no need to care.
I don’t really feel nice and friendly because I often have thoughts about people whom I rather dislike which are quite at odds with what I say or how I act. Isn’t it terrible? But I also like to indulge in fantasies of shutting their trap up or imagining all the things I’d rather do than sit there listening to them rant. Or make mocking comments in my head or roll my eyes when they can’t see. AHAHA, I really am awful. Maybe my friend is right, it is a pain not to say what you want.
I don’t know what I’m talking about anymore. How do you defeat a more dominant personality than your own? Especially if they’re the type who overrules what you say or doesn’t play give and take, conversationally. You either stop talking to them or start overruling them yourself which becomes more and more frustrating. The problem, the problem, the problem is that any successful conversation depend on each party being able to throw the ball into each others’ court and not hog it or refuse to take it. I hate it hate it hate it when some people just don’t play with me and so they’re better written off as: TOO MUCH TROUBLE.
Which reminds me of KK. Who wields anti-social as a weapon. Ahaha. Maybe I should have kicked him a few times instead of always trying to talk to him.
And it also reminds me of why I don’t want to engage in a certain conversation this week. More pain in the neck when I could be doing something else.
So this is me when talking; I match the intensity of others’. It’s not because I’m trying some social engineering trick but it’s just something I am, that I harmonize and match other people. Which is why sometimes I am grateful for having different groups of friends for which I can mirror varying intensities.
I’m going to sleep because I’ve written all my nonsense out. I think I’m more tired than nervous now. Ahaha.
Related posts: